One, two or three ... How many children is the perfect number?

I used to be the perfect mum. I had a well-behaved, easily motivated and confident child. He was happy, sporty, did well at school and made friends easily. If he even considered doing something naughty, a word or look from me would put an end to it. This parenting busy is easy, I thought ... 

So for the first six years of his life my son was an only child. I loved our time together when it was just the two of us: cinema trips; coffee shop visits; swimming at the outdoor pool at the gym - he swam, I sunbathed! 

People used to ask me when I was having another child; I hated that question. These questions started when my son was only six months old, I was definitely not considering having another child then! And as time went on, it seemed less likely that I would have any more children, especially as I didn't want to have children after the age of 29 (positively ancient!!) 

But sometimes I would wonder what we were missing. I remember visiting Legoland and seeing families with a few children. Did they seem happier as they had more than one child? 

Shortly before his seventh birthday, along came his sister. Slightly jealous initially, which was only natural after being the only child for so long, he soon took on the big brother role with pride. Despite the age gap, brother and sister played together well and he always looked out for her. 

Strangely, I used to be a perfectionist. I wanted the best in everything and was disappointed if I didn't achieve it. With two children it is a lot more difficult to succeed as a perfectionist. Twice as many toys, double the noise ... imagine two Duracell bunnies bouncing around constantly! 

Some people say that the jump from one to two children is the big one; others disagree and say it's the leap to three. I think that any jump is a change and a challenge! So when baby number three came along, you can imagine that our lives changed again. 

Thank goodness I managed to get over my desire for perfectionism, as I would probably have signed myself into an institution before now if I hadn't. Child number three is my little whirlwind, 10 Duracell bunnies roled into one. She has never needed much sleep and is constantly on the go. 

The balance shifted dramatically when I increased to three children; one is usually left out or picked on by the others. Thankfully I'm not house proud, it's impossible to keep a tidy house with three children. And I don't have time for housework (I work and I have three children - that's my excuse and think it's a pretty good one!)

My life is manic but I wouldn't have it any other way. As I mentioned, I thought I had motherhood all sorted when I just had the one child. I was lucky that my first child was so 'easy' in that I understood what motivated him. But it's also a lot easier when you do just have the one child. You can focus on them: bring them to tennis lessons (he had four a week), swimming, karate, rugby; spend time on homework and learning; choose what they want to do in their spare time without having to consider anyone else.

Introduce any more children into the equation and things inevitably change. It's impossible to bring them to all the activities that both they and you would like them to do. It's so much harder to give each child the amount of time you would like to focus on their learning.

Prior to having more than one child, I thought how a child behaved was to do with parenting. I still think that how you parent a child does have some impact on their behaviour, morals, for example, are usually ingrained from your upbringing. But it's only after having two then three children that I have realised that they are so individual. They have their own little personalities and whatever they do is affected by this. As I said, child number one was easily motivated and also very competitive. When he was three years old, I told him that he should be dressing himself, so he did. I was the proud mum at swimming when he was quickly changed before anyone else. My two girls, however, are the opposite, they like to take their time over things. Although we're working on trying to get changed more quickly at swimming.

My life may have been easier when I only had one child but it is now much happier with three. I no longer wonder what I am missing ... I am now the proud mum of three completely individual, happy children. And no.3, the maddest of them all, is apparently most like me!!

Does anyone actually read reports?

It's that time of year when teachers are frantically trying to write reports ... as if we didn't have enough to do already! As I  was pondering on how I am going to get them written on time, I started to question if parents actually read them?

Have you ever read your son or daughter's report and thought that could have been written about any child in the class? Or I recognise that report writing programme? (Teachers may have noticed this!) Occasionally I have read a school report for one of my children and thought: 'The teacher knows and understands my child'. Therefore I always endeavour to personalised reports. It's great as a parent to read about a particular piece of work or event that your child has excelled at and that it has been recognised. 

Adding specific details and events to reports makes them much more enjoyable for the parents to read but inevitably creates a lot more work for the teacher. Fortunately there will always be children in every class who seem to be constantly excelling in virtually every area of the curriculum, thereby making it easier for the teacher to write about. However, there are also those reports that require more thinking time before writing, especially for those children who are getting on well at school and don't have any significant strengths or weaknesses. (I am aware that all children are gifted in something, although sometimes this isn't discovered until later on when they are introduced to new experiences).

So for me it's going to be a lot of late nights in order to get these reports finished and hopefully I'll have
satisfied parents who appreciate the effort I have put into writing them! 

(For anyone reading this who is thinking: 'Why isn't she writing reports instead of a blog post about writing reports?' I'm watching my daughter's swimming lesson. Plus everyone needs to take a break sometime!)