One, two or three ... How many children is the perfect number?

I used to be the perfect mum. I had a well-behaved, easily motivated and confident child. He was happy, sporty, did well at school and made friends easily. If he even considered doing something naughty, a word or look from me would put an end to it. This parenting busy is easy, I thought ... 

So for the first six years of his life my son was an only child. I loved our time together when it was just the two of us: cinema trips; coffee shop visits; swimming at the outdoor pool at the gym - he swam, I sunbathed! 

People used to ask me when I was having another child; I hated that question. These questions started when my son was only six months old, I was definitely not considering having another child then! And as time went on, it seemed less likely that I would have any more children, especially as I didn't want to have children after the age of 29 (positively ancient!!) 

But sometimes I would wonder what we were missing. I remember visiting Legoland and seeing families with a few children. Did they seem happier as they had more than one child? 

Shortly before his seventh birthday, along came his sister. Slightly jealous initially, which was only natural after being the only child for so long, he soon took on the big brother role with pride. Despite the age gap, brother and sister played together well and he always looked out for her. 

Strangely, I used to be a perfectionist. I wanted the best in everything and was disappointed if I didn't achieve it. With two children it is a lot more difficult to succeed as a perfectionist. Twice as many toys, double the noise ... imagine two Duracell bunnies bouncing around constantly! 

Some people say that the jump from one to two children is the big one; others disagree and say it's the leap to three. I think that any jump is a change and a challenge! So when baby number three came along, you can imagine that our lives changed again. 

Thank goodness I managed to get over my desire for perfectionism, as I would probably have signed myself into an institution before now if I hadn't. Child number three is my little whirlwind, 10 Duracell bunnies roled into one. She has never needed much sleep and is constantly on the go. 

The balance shifted dramatically when I increased to three children; one is usually left out or picked on by the others. Thankfully I'm not house proud, it's impossible to keep a tidy house with three children. And I don't have time for housework (I work and I have three children - that's my excuse and think it's a pretty good one!)

My life is manic but I wouldn't have it any other way. As I mentioned, I thought I had motherhood all sorted when I just had the one child. I was lucky that my first child was so 'easy' in that I understood what motivated him. But it's also a lot easier when you do just have the one child. You can focus on them: bring them to tennis lessons (he had four a week), swimming, karate, rugby; spend time on homework and learning; choose what they want to do in their spare time without having to consider anyone else.

Introduce any more children into the equation and things inevitably change. It's impossible to bring them to all the activities that both they and you would like them to do. It's so much harder to give each child the amount of time you would like to focus on their learning.

Prior to having more than one child, I thought how a child behaved was to do with parenting. I still think that how you parent a child does have some impact on their behaviour, morals, for example, are usually ingrained from your upbringing. But it's only after having two then three children that I have realised that they are so individual. They have their own little personalities and whatever they do is affected by this. As I said, child number one was easily motivated and also very competitive. When he was three years old, I told him that he should be dressing himself, so he did. I was the proud mum at swimming when he was quickly changed before anyone else. My two girls, however, are the opposite, they like to take their time over things. Although we're working on trying to get changed more quickly at swimming.

My life may have been easier when I only had one child but it is now much happier with three. I no longer wonder what I am missing ... I am now the proud mum of three completely individual, happy children. And no.3, the maddest of them all, is apparently most like me!!

Does anyone actually read reports?

It's that time of year when teachers are frantically trying to write reports ... as if we didn't have enough to do already! As I  was pondering on how I am going to get them written on time, I started to question if parents actually read them?

Have you ever read your son or daughter's report and thought that could have been written about any child in the class? Or I recognise that report writing programme? (Teachers may have noticed this!) Occasionally I have read a school report for one of my children and thought: 'The teacher knows and understands my child'. Therefore I always endeavour to personalised reports. It's great as a parent to read about a particular piece of work or event that your child has excelled at and that it has been recognised. 

Adding specific details and events to reports makes them much more enjoyable for the parents to read but inevitably creates a lot more work for the teacher. Fortunately there will always be children in every class who seem to be constantly excelling in virtually every area of the curriculum, thereby making it easier for the teacher to write about. However, there are also those reports that require more thinking time before writing, especially for those children who are getting on well at school and don't have any significant strengths or weaknesses. (I am aware that all children are gifted in something, although sometimes this isn't discovered until later on when they are introduced to new experiences).

So for me it's going to be a lot of late nights in order to get these reports finished and hopefully I'll have
satisfied parents who appreciate the effort I have put into writing them! 

(For anyone reading this who is thinking: 'Why isn't she writing reports instead of a blog post about writing reports?' I'm watching my daughter's swimming lesson. Plus everyone needs to take a break sometime!)

Motivated at last!

Finally I feel like I'm getting some results ... for the first time in quite a while I appear to be losing weight! As someone who is driven by targets and results, I need to see progress, otherwise I often feel like giving in. Well, what is the point in giving up things that you enjoy if it has no impact on your weight, energy levels or wellbeing?!

Since giving up sugar (although not completely as that would be almost impossible, given that it is most things, including fruit) and gluten; I have also been more conscious of what I am consuming. Meals are meat and vegetables; snacks are fruit; coffee has been replaced by peppermint tea and I am drinking a lot more water. I am beginning to feel better although an ongoing pounding headache, I can only assume it's a withdrawal symptom from sugar and caffeine, has been rather annoying. However, I am hoping this will disappear soon.

Of course, I have been exercising too and find that a run first thing in the morning is great to kick-start my metabolism. When the mornings get brighter, I may be dragging my little girls out of bed for an early morning run (perhaps only on the weekends and holidays as I can imagine there will be a lot of complaining!)

Fingers crossed that I am able to maintain the healthy eating when I return to work next week as it is always tempting to snack on 'junk' after a busy, stressful day at work.

But having seen some progress, I am now feeling more motivated and determined to make this work. Although I know that I have a long way to go to achieve the weight loss that I want and increase my energy levels.

 

So long sugar ...

I could be addicted to chocolate and certainly use it as a much needed pick-me-up throughout the day. As a busy mum and teacher, I'm always on the go and with poor energy levels, chocolate gives an immediate and easy, albeit temporary, energy boost. 

My last blog post focused on cutting out gluten, in an attempt to improve the condition of my thyroid and improve my energy levels, which have taken a massive nose-dive recently. Constantly on the search for answers, as I hate feeling exhausted and am frustrated with my inability to lose weight, I started wondering if sugar could also be my 'enemy'.

This morning I came across an interesting article written by a women who went from having a very active life to having to completely slow down. Like me, she had been constantly on the go until one day her body had enough.

"I propped myself up on a rotating cycle of black coffee in the morning and red wine at night. I was burning my rechargeable, ever-ready candle at both ends in the most spectacular of fashions. And getting away with it.

"But then my body collapsed." (Quitting Sugar Saved My Thyroid: Sarah Wilson's Story)

Sound familiar? People used to constantly ask me how I was always able to keep 'on the go' as I managed to fit everything in - looking after the kids, busy job, managing the house, exercise, social life etc. I always had enough energy and most of the time, enjoyed my hectic, busy lifestyle. 

My 'body collapse' wasn't as quick or dramatic as the author of the article I read, but over the last few months I have definitely felt my body telling me to slow down. In fact over the last few years, I've had a few spells of exhaustion, pre-thyroid diagnosis, which I've mostly ignored.

Like me, the author also had a sudden massive weight gain. She now views it as a way in which her body had to heal itself; I consider my weight gain differently. In search for answers, as you won't get any in a doctor's surgery, she decided to quit sugar as it basically destroys the thyroid gland.

So, having just finished my delicious valentine's cookie, I am now ready to attempt eliminate sugar from my diet, which I know won't be easy. Hopefully, I will notice some changes over the next few weeks. If I don't, I will be back on the sugar as there's no point in cutting something you love if it doesn't make you feel any better!

Again, any tips or advice, especially from anyone who has successfully eliminated sugar from their diet, would be much appreciated. Thanks for reading.

Goodbye Gluten!

It's been a year of frustration, misery and disappointment in relation to my attempts to lose weight and regain my energy levels. 

Despite being diagnosed with an under active thyroid over a year ago, my weight wasn't an issue as I always did enough exercise; usually five or six times a week. However, it all changed when I broke my ankle playing rugby. Unable to exercise properly, as arm workouts at the gym don't really count, I inevitably put on weight. Since getting back to exercise in May, I have lost some weight. But considering I now exercise, on average, four times a week, it has been frustrating and sometimes demoralising that I can't shift this stubborn weight. 

As I look a healthy weight, I'm not considered a priority by my doctor. Obviously I have been trying to eat healthily and have lost some weight following a shakes diet. Although I do find it difficult to avoid 'treat' foods!

Whilst my weight is an issue, my recent diagnosis of anaemia following months of low energy levels has prompted me to take action. If my daily dose of thyroid medication, iron tablets and berrocca, accompanied by early nights when my work permits it, can't improve my energy levels, something else needs to be done.

So following some research, I have decided to attempt to cut gluten. Food products, such as bread and pizza, have often left me feeling bloated and ill. Although I love the taste of toasted bagels, toast smothered in honey or bacon bap, especially after an early morning BMF session.

This has been a recommended course of action by a number of people, so I am hoping that in a month or so I should have some results. I will keep you posted.

Any tips or advice are welcomed. Thank you for reading.

Good riddance 2012 ... Welcome 2013!

Only one day left and I can't wait to see the back of 2012! Without a doubt, it's been one of the most difficult, challenging and unforgettable years of my life. Although I have also learnt a lot and become a much stronger person.
After 13 years of marriage I decided to go it alone. A tough decision as it didn't just affect my life but the lives of my children too. It is heartbreaking when your 6 year old daughter says, "You've ruined my happy ever after." If only life was as simple as a fairy tale!
As I work full-time, in order to provide for my children, I find that many women are quick to judge me and my role as a mother. Why are people so quick to judge? Just because you have given up your career to look after your kids doesn't make you a better mother!
One downside of working full-time is not having time to prepare and cook healthy meals every night. Over the last few months I have slowly put on almost a stone :( So one of my goals for 2013 is to lose that excess weight and look good in my size 8 dresses! I have already written my diet plan.
I'm a naturally busy person and am surprisingly organised, I even amaze myself sometimes! But I often take on too much and consequently feel exhausted at the end of it. Recently I have been redecorating. I started slowly repainting my living room. Then went a bit mad, deciding to completely redecorate both the girls' and my rooms. It was a lot of hard work and I can now strip wallpaper and make flat pack furniture, something I have always shied away from. The end result has been fantastic. By spring 2013 my plan is to repaint all the other rooms and I'm soon off to order laminate flooring for my living and dining rooms.
So I have achieved a lot in 2012 and have so much to be thankful for. Most importantly my 3 beautiful children and my loving parents and sister. Also I have some fantastic and extremely supportive friends.
Happy new year and here's hoping that 2013 is the best one yet!

Rapidly falling levels of customer service

Has anyone else noticed how much the standards of customer service have fallen? Recently I have been less than impressed with how I, as a customer, have been treated by a range of companies. I was under the impression that the customer is always right, obviously I was wrong! Or have standards and quality of customer service just fallen ... drastically?

A few years ago I worked as a Business Consultant and one of our clients was a successful online retailer. They put the customer first and stated: "Under promise, over deliver". This always worked ... tell a customer that they will receive their order in a week, it arrives three days later, you have a happy customer. If a package gets lost in the post, is that the customer's fault? No! It's up to the business to send the order again.

Earlier today, I was treated extremely poorly by a photography company. I overpaid (by almost £10) for my daughter's first school photos. I chose the cheapest option as I didn't want to spend too much on the photos, while also wanting a reminder of her first school photo. I was assured I would get change, otherwise I would just have ordered the more expensive photos. But when I phoned the company today (Profile Photography in Herne Bay, Kent), I was informed that there was no evidence that I had overpaid and therefore I would not be receiving any change. Indeed, my word, as the customer, was not good enough. Even though the school was aware that I was owed money. In fact, the man I spoke to was so rude that he put the phone down during the conversation. Is that good customer service? If there was an OFSTED for customer service, they would be in special measures!

This is not the only company which have fallen extremely short of my (high?!) expectations. Although I don't think expecting basic manners is asking too much!

When I returned from holiday last August and commenced the post-holiday washing, I was devastated when I discovered smoke rapidly escaping from the machine. A quick visit to Comet followed and I returned home confident that I would be the proud owner of a new washing machine a few days later. As anticipated, I was last on the list for the machine to be delivered that day. Nevertheless, I didn't mind, as long as I could start working my way through the massive pile of washing that evening, I was happy (not ecstatic though, as washing clothes is a necessity, not exciting!)

So you can imagine my extreme disappointment when the men refused to remove my machine as it could potentially damage the flooring in my kitchen. I stated that I just wanted a new washing machine but they totally refused to move it, even though I paid for my old machine to be collected as well as the new one to be connected. Unfortunately I was unable to persuade them to move the machine. Were they just being lazy and wanting to finish their shift? I had the choice to send the new machine back or have it delivered and some one else come the following day to fit it, if my husband removed the old one. After some consideration, I decided it would be better to have the machine delivered. The men did help clear a space. However, bearing in mind that they wouldn't remove the old machine just in case they damaged the floor, they pushed the new one under a counter, ripping the flooring in the process. Having closely observed this, I stated that as they had already damaged the floor, they might as well remove the old machine and connect the new one. They refused. When I phoned Comet the following day they were shocked that the men failed to take the old machine - were they just being lazy? Two men turned up to fit the machine, which was done quickly. Although Comet promised to look into it, I'm still waiting for a response!

Comet were not the only company to fail to deliver an acceptable level of customer service. A while ago I ordered a new washing line (I have 3 children, I'm allowed to order boring pieces of equipment!) I waited in, on what was one of the last days of the summer holidays, for the washing line. When I phoned Homebase to enquire where it was, I was told it was out of stock! So why was I allowed to order it?! That order was cancelled by me.

Books failed to arrive from WHSmith, I was told I would have to pay again for my order (almost £100). Fortunately, they listened to my argument and re-sent the order without me having to pay any more money.                     

                                   

I'm sure if I took time to think about it I could come up with a lot more examples of extremely poor customer service. "The customer is always right", clearly does not apply in many companies.

I love the "under promise, over deliver", motto as customers are usually impressed with the speedy delivery and will want to continue to use the company. Is that not the aim of many companies? In the current economic conditions, surely companies should be working hard to keep their customers?

Who has infuriated you? Do you want to name and shame those companies who have delivered poor customer service? I will probably not receive my refund from the photography company and I will never get back that wasted time I spent waiting for something that was never going to be delivered, but if this makes people think twice about using these companies, then I have achieved something. Unfortunately, I will not be ordering any school photos of my beautiful daughter, unless they change the company they use. But is it really a loss? Why do we waste money on mediocre school photos when we could have done better ourselves?